Intro - emotive

I feel a combination of self satisfaction, and a sort of frenzied rush. As if my heart bares the muddy waters of the world and every note i sing is a drop of my burden slowly leaking out a little more, barley easing the pressure, but at least it helps.Drop by drop of oceans of muck.

I could have probably spent my life doing only this creating this beautiful and powerful sound, and it still would have not been enough. I was only free during the creating.Bound as always when reality hits.No.The music would have never have been enough.A wonderful as it is its still ink on a paper and sound.Nothing alive to squirm under the touch.No warmth.No life to consume.

There were other hungers.Undeniable hungers.I needed something else.Something more filling.Something so rare and beautiful it angered the gods to steal it.The hunger will out.

The song finishes and my voice fades into the background murmering cryptic verses over and over, like a chanted spell of the blackest of magic. An atmosphere equal to that at someones funeral permeates the room, so thick you could cut it with a knife.I make a slicing motion through the air with my hand and giggle to myself at the thought.

My mind jerks back to reality at the childish sound, the waters of reality weighing down my heart once more as the memories of who and where i am return.Back to reality.Torture until i can be alone again in my head or with her.

A smile i can't restrain cracks my face almost in half as my eyes refocus on her.The reason i still exist.The reason i didnt die a long time ago.The reason i can control my hunger.My burden.My curse.Also the part of the drive behind my hunger.My Queen.She comes towards me praising the music ive already created and forgotten.

Enough with words.My eyes close and my lips find hers with ease, not entirely aware of what my body is doing, but it already knows what to do.

Fingers tangling in her ebony hair, pouring my heart out through my mouth into hers.My hand soft against the smooth white skin of her neck pulling her lips harder against mine.Lost in my heaven,i forget the other people in the room.

Until a high-pitched guitar note rips open the room from behind me.She jumps in my arms and i roll my eyes in the direction of the sound.

I'm still focused on the only important thing in the world to me, calming her surprised heart in my arms.My eyes meet hers and i delve into her caramel chocolate gaize.My caramilk love.Rich and filling.Her eyes never leave mine.

"I love you" she whispers in a way that sends a warm tingling sensation through my body, her beautiful face alive with happiness.

The words come out naturally and i know them to be true as i return the affectionate phrase.

Then the silence is broken again by a horrid wretching noise.I turn to glance at my friend, and the most talented guitarist ive ever met, like a white Hendrix.

"Jealous?!"he laughs loudly "I got plenty of my own"he grins picking up his guitar again."Lets jam some more i got this sound stuck in my head".He sits down and starts fiddling with all the knobs strings and switches that accompanied playing guitar like a pro.

Mike kicks in on the drums, and i can feel Cliffs bass riffs rurmbling the floorboards

The music surrounds me again and my eyes close in agony as the words tear free from my tortured throat again.The darkness behind my eyes is all-consuming once more.

I can't remember when it started.It was in small bursts to begin with.Creeping in unnoticed at first,like a ghost in the machine.Now its ever apparent.Always looming at the edge of my mind. That darkness that threatens to consume all love, life hope and happiness.Thankfully i can keep it under control now.

I rememeber when i was young, all the times i had been pushed around by people who were too weak for me to fight back.All the times i wished i didnt have to control my destructive instincts.All the times it would have saved me so much grief and torture to just give in and end their pathetic lives.The one time i did. Humiliated the poor fucker and then dismembered him too.

I never blamed god or asked him for help.He was too small a factor to waste time on.I blame my stepfather.The stupid old man never had any idea what he had caused.A normal happy soul twisted and warped by years of abuse into something not entirely human.Something less?Or something more?

My name all those ages ago barely ehoes in my head now, a faint memory of a time when i had been who my mother named me.Now im the bastard child who fought to be different than anyone.I changed for a reason, treaded paths no one would.Delved into the darkest places of the world.The naive me died and in his place stands a warrior, a demon, a monster. Destroyer, they call me now, wrecker of homes and lives. The worst anarchist.

I am wise now.My wisdom tells me i have a goal to reach.Keep diving in the darkness.Its time to let the bad guys win for once.